『旦那さんにイライラするんです…』そんなイライラを収める方法
子どもは大丈夫だけど、『旦那さんにイライラするんです』
ママさんからよく相談されます。
例えば、赤ちゃんをせっかく寝かしつけたのに、仕事から帰ってきて抱っこしようとしたり。
夜泣きで何度も起きてあやしてるのに、旦那さんは隣で気づかずに寝ていたり。
休みの日に、自分ばかり好き勝手に出かけてしまったり。
子どもがぐずって夕飯の支度ができなくて、ご飯買ってきてと頼んだら、
『今日1日何してたの？』と言われたり。
皆さんも1度は経験あるのではないでしょうか？
『何でわかってくれないのよ。』
『どれだけ頑張ってやっとの思いで寝かせたのか知らないでしょ？』
『ゆっくり座る暇もないくらい、ずーっと抱っこ抱っこで頑張ったのに。大変だったねの一言はないの？』
ママさんの心の声は、旦那さんには届いていないのかもしれません。
育児と家事の大変さは、なかなか理解してもらいにくいことかもしれません。
では、旦那さんのことはどれだけ理解しているでしょうか？
今日の仕事はどうだったか、聞いてますか？
大変だったね、お疲れ様と伝えていますか？
自分のことで精一杯な時は、相手のことを思いやる余裕もなくなっています。
自分中心に考えてしまうので、わかってほしい、労わってほしいという利己的な態度がつい出てしまいがちです。
自分の話を聴いてほしいなという時は、相手の話を先に聴く。
労ってほしいな、気にかけてほしいなというときは、自分が旦那さんを気遣ってあげる。
先に聴くことで、自分のことも伝えやすくなります。
頑張っていない人はいません。
夫婦で労わり、理解し、ありがとうねと毎日伝えることで、イライラは軽減します。
そしてイライラした時こそ、相手の立場に立ってみる。
夜泣きに気づかない程、仕事で疲れているのかな。
休みの日はストレス発散も大切よね。
そうすることで、イライラが少しおさまります。
自分には、「頑張ってるよ、私エライ！」自分を認めます。誰からも褒められなくても、どれだけ頑張ってるかは自分がよくわかっているからです。
自分で自分をハグしてあげると、フッと緩んで楽になります。
ぜひ毎日自分に承認のハグと言葉をかけてあげてくださいね。
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